If i'm completely honest, I wouldnt entertain the idea of a blog for a second if I wasnt far too lazy to write in a diary, the conventional way. It probably isnt the most redeeming thing to admit about myself, but instead of having the traditional sensibilities vs the digital age argument with myself, i've come to pretty much accept the convenience of just tapping away at a keyboard, et voila, words appear!
Anyway, here I am, and of course I am mostly writing to myself, however I dont much approve of the dear diary approach, so I'll just lovingly write in you, dear blog (oh god) as if you, dear reader, are actually looking at this.
Its times like this, when I'm forced to sit and address what I, as a person, might have to say about myself, or the world, that I suddenly become incredibly paranoid that I have shit all to offer, I mean, without entering into some god awful existential debate, it isnt often that a person does have to spend any amount of time wondering about who they are. On a day to day basis, we're just ourselves but as other people see us, or ourselves depending on whats happened that day that youve had to deal with. Also, this makes it incredibly easy for people to lie about who they are, in an extremely albeit probably unintentional way. Several of my friends will turn off their last.fm if they are listening to a song that they dont want other people knowing they enjoy, this kind of attitude is understandable (unless thats just my ability to relate to anything failing me once again) - but also wrong. If you cant even be truthful about what music you listen to, are you going to be truthful in a blog entry, or a job interview, or if you meet a stranger in a coffee shop that on first impressions you rather like the look of?
Right now, im listening to T-rex, but, if I wasnt safe in the knowledge that this particular band are "acceptable" in the eyes of the type of person my age Id want to attract, would I have admitted this? I like to think so, whenever I'm in the mood to have a high opinion of myself, but the reality is very very different, dear reader. If it was James Blunt, I certainly wouldnt. Then again, I wouldnt listen to that man unless I found myself in an unfortunate situation such as being held at gunpoint, or faced with an option of either being subjected to that, or eating a bucketful of maggots that have been bathing in horseshit.
im bored now. xxx
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